That's a Little Personal, Don't You Think?

I wish people would stop asking "So when are you going to have a baby?"  I know this is a common question to ask a girl my age, but if you're a stranger then you probably shouldn't ask such a personal question.  Even if you are an acquaintance, it's still a personal issue to ask someone about.  Unless you are family or a good friend then you probably shouldn't bring it up.  Its right up there with the one question you never ask a woman unless you are absolutely sure. You know, the mortifying question "When are you due?" when you're not even expecting. Thank God I've never been asked this question but I have friends who have, and it sucks.  Just don't do it.

I don't want this blog to be a "woe is me" venting party but I have been asked this question so much lately that I thought it was worth mentioning.  It must be because all of my friends have had babies and now my best friend is expecting.  Logically, people assume that I will be next.  I hope they are right but don't ask me that.  (This rule does not apply to family and good friends).

Last weekend while celebrating a "gender reveal" for two of my friends I was asked this ever so bothersome question - with a twist.  Someone came up to me and asked "So when are you going to have a baby?  I bet you're starting to feel left out since you're now the last one."   Did she really just say that to me?  I know I'm overly sensitive right now and I'm sure it wasn't meant to be malicious, but it was like someone took a dagger to my chest.  "I bet you're starting to feel left out?"  Who asks that sort of question?  I could feel my eyes starting to fill with water.  I didn't want her to see the sadness on my face so I quickly dropped my napkin so I could pick it up and compose myself.

The truth is, I'm sure this question bothered me so much because it's true.  The fear of being left behind has been one of my biggest hurdles to overcome the past few months.  The common thread with all of my friends now is babies.  Babies, babies and more babies.  I enjoy hearing about it but I have absolutely nothing to add to the conversations anymore.  I already felt like a bit of an outsider in my group and this isn't making it any easier. By the time I'm starting to gain acceptance with this reality, that horrible question is slapped across my face.  It felt great.

With that being said, before you ask someone you barely know a personal question, I urge you to stop and think first.  We are all guilty of it.  Myself included.  Saying comments and questions that we think are funny or cute in the moment but can actually be quite hurtful even if that is not our intention.  You never know what a person may be up against.  What you think is a simple question, can evoke a struggle of emotions that someone is trying hard to accept.  If you have any doubts on what you are about to say to someone, then remember this simple saying:

"Some things are better left unsaid"