Bump Bound - Week 11

(Originally written 09/08/12)

Let’s get real personal for a minute.  Pregnancy farts.  Why has no one ever mentioned these butt assassinations before?  They are so bad that instead of calling them SBD’s I am taking it upon myself to rename them SBB’s (Sudden Butt Bombs) because no one see’s them coming and they have the power to take down an army.  PeeeeeUUUUU.  The bloating has been bad, but up until this point the farts have just exploded inside my tummy and haven’t escaped.  So as you can imagine, when I actually had one knocking to come out I eagerly proceeded and breathed a big sigh of relief.  OH. MY. GOSH.  That was amazing!  The relief only lasted for about five seconds and BAM!  What the?  What is that smell?!?!  Its not possible that I just produced that smell.  Not. Possible!  Right as my eyes started to water from the burning smell my husband walked into the kitchen to give me a kiss.  I started laughing so hard, and hung my head.  “I’m sorry.  I couldn’t help it”. 

“Oh my gosh!  That was you?!?!  I thought that was the dog!  That is the grossest thing I’ve ever smelt.  The air is just thick in here!”  

A few days later, again in the kitchen, I let another one.  My husband has impeccable timing.  Poor guy.  The second after my relief he walked into the hazy air.  He gets a puzzled look on his face and I kid you not, says “Are you cooking eggs?  It stinks in here!”  BAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA  Sorry babe.  You’ve fallen victim to another SBB!

We had a minor scare this week and as a result had an impromptu ultrasound.  Our first appointment with the doctor isn’t until 9/19 so it was pretty exciting to see our little grasshopper earlier than we had anticipated.  The baby is healthy and on track with a heartbeat of 157 beats per minute.  This was the first time my husband was able to see and hear the baby.  It was amazing to watch his face light up when he heard the heart beating for the first time.  That’s something I will never forget.

My clothes are starting to get uncomfortable this week.  I never had much room to expand in them to begin with so with all of the bloating they are really tight.  At the beginning of the pregnancy I scored a good sale at Sophia and Isabel and got two BellaBands for $6 each!  Holler!!!  They are normally $22 each.  Until this week, I haven’t felt justified in wearing them.  I mean, c’mon, I shouldn’t need a pant extender for gas!  I finally broke one out and wore it with some shorts last weekend.  It. Was. Splendid!   I also scored a new bra at the Motherhood Maternity outlet.  It was $10!  Normally $35.  Again, SCORE!!!  My bra has been leaving giant divots in my skin.  And this new bra is 2, yes TWO cup sizes bigger than my normal bras.  Can we say AWESOME!?!?!  Truthfully, I still have a little room to grow into it, but its quite comfortable. 

AND…….As if being pregnant isn't already a gift in itself, you get a ton of FREE stuff when pregnant.  Just for shopping at Motherhood, I got coupons for a ton of free items.  Like cool items.  I was able to redeem a baby sling as well as a hooter-hider!  ALL. FOR. FREE!  I still need to redeem my car seat cover.